| It slips away |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|02:30 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | loss | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
The thing I'm having the most trouble coping with these days is not that my body is slowing down a little, bits are starting to head south or the heartburn, but the people erosion. Every year, more people are lost, and I know that every year is going to have more and more. It's the cycle, but goddamn, I hate it.
I know they say time heals, but I'm not sure it does. Maybe it's just me, but it just feels like the wounds stop bleeding, but then you wake up in the middle of the night, and it's like it just happened.
I still remember when that jerk rabbi told me my papa was gone, that we hadn't made it in time. I remember getting hardcore tunnel vision, and him telling me I had to be strong. I wish I'd punched him right in the nuts.
I remember exactly where I was, which way I was facing, what I was looking at when I heard the news for all of them. I hate knowing that I'm going to be adding to that memory pile until one day, I slip away. |
|
|
| beachholes! |
[Jun. 11th, 2009|04:14 pm] |
I've been in a delightful beachhole, so no real posting on any of the social networking timesinks.
But I'm alive! I still refuse to twitter (no twatting here), but I starting 'blipping' which seems more purposeful, but really, I suspect it's just a gateway network.
http://blip.fm/invite/Alicia307KnoxRecords |
|
|
| RIP Alex Nathan |
[May. 14th, 2009|11:29 pm] |
I have put off making this post, but Alex Nathan passed away in the early hours, this past Monday.
He went into hospice care the Tuesday before. Luckily, I got to spend a lot of time with him and his wonderful family this last weekend.
When he went into hospice care, I thought he had weeks, I guess I like denial best of all. |
|
|
| Not happy. |
[Apr. 29th, 2009|12:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | passive-aggressive | ] |
at all. |
|
|
| Buttons/pins! |
[Apr. 22nd, 2009|12:39 pm] |
Mild sales pitch:
Our goal is reasonable prices and fast turnaround on 1 inch buttons/pins. If you know any bands/theaters/events/etc that need buttons, let em know about us. Some of the best prices you'll find and the fastest turnaround time.
http://www.307knoxrecords.com/buttons.html
~~~~
(this is pretty much what I've been up to. that and taxes, and do you really want to hear me whine about that?) |
|
|
| video killed the radio star... |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|11:55 pm] |
My early music influences where...uhm, weird. I knew Neil Diamond's "The Jazz Singer" forward and backward, and I got my first adult music cassette tape. Culture Club's 'Colour by Numbers'. I do think this explains a lot about me.
I've always loved music videos. Before I'd learned how to mispend my youth, I lived in Germany in the early 80s. The sole 'american' television channel played a half hour of MTV every week. I would sit with my dad and watch the videos, and there was this one video that completely fascinated me.
Ratt - Round and Round.
http://www.spike.com/video/ratt-round-round/2787526
Here are a few more videos that really imprinted on me, and guided how I think about music and videos today. I'm just going to put links up b/c most of them you can't embed, and while consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds, in this instance, I'll just roll small-minded.
Run DMC/Aerosmith - Walk This Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8A0rhVG91U
Oh, how I wanted a pair of laceless adidas. My mom was having none of that.
Guns N Roses - Welcome to the Jungle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYRC4H64EFk
I remember getting a copied tape of "Appetite for Destruction" from my friend, who's parents let her listen to all kinds of things. I would hide in my room and listen to this, and watch the videos on MTV.
Anthrax/Public Enemy - Bring the Noise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEwKCu0P89c
Base - how low can you go? I'd already been introduced to heavy metal/rock/etc and this (plus Aerosmith/Run DMC) really cracked rap in general open to me. This cemented my love of rap/metal combos. The Judgment Night soundtrack is always on heavy rotation in my house.
Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXO3OMGKPpw
Ahhh, I recall staying up late in my parent's basement, and watching 120 Minutes on MTV, and seeing this for the first time. I'd never heard the song, and it was like getting slammed by a steam roller. And I started wearing flannel.
I really could do pages and pages on this subject, especially as I start digging in and triggering memories. So I will close this up with two videos I am just super into right now.
Flobots - Handlebars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuK2A1ZqoWs
This is a beautiful song, I love the animation style in the video, I love the band and their message, their activism and well, I just love it!
Rammstein - Mann Gegan Mann
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hPvtuu9CbM
How often do you get a band that is stereotyped as hypermascline to make such a naked video? Till in heels and latex panties? I'm in like flynn. Plus it makes a lot of their fans incredibly uncomfortable and that is pretty hilarious. Naked water balloon fight! |
|
|
| all wrapped up in love |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|12:24 pm] |
there is just something really loving and wonderful when your partner makes you a yummy breakfast. it's like the love is baked in, like little chocolate chips.
mmmmpancakes. |
|
|
| Is this thing on? |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|09:07 am] |
Yeah, yeah, I'm bad at LJ.
So, let me sum up:
Cancer sucks! My friend Alex has Stage 4 Ewings Sarcoma. It's pretty bad. If you'd like to check out his story and considering donating, go visit this little linkie. To make things even shittier, he's losing his health insurance. It's just a world of suck. I'm trying not to be a big old downer, but I am having a lot of issues dealing with and facing that my friend could very well die before the end of the year. This growing up thing? It sucks. I don't like it and I do not want to do it.
In other news, I've been doing glass fusing, which I'm having a lot of fun with, and is really giving me an artistic outlet that I feel really good about my end product. I know Scott started posting some pictures, and I unearthed a bunch of pendants from the kiln last night that I really like. Now I just need to get some findings/bails so they can actually be worn. I suppose I'll be bombarding ya'll with pics. And links to my etsy, when I'm at that place. |
|
|
| Everything is better this way |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|10:44 am] |
Somehow, everything is just better when your house smells like baking bread. It's warm, welcoming and everything feels just a bit more peaceful.
I am baking bread and making marmalade as New Years gifts, and while I hope everyone enjoys eating them, by god, I'm really loving making them. |
|
|
| If you can't be a good example, be a stern warning. |
[Jan. 2nd, 2009|08:37 am] |
So yeah, I sure haven't been around LJ lately. Basically I've been super freaking depressed and very inward facing. I won't say I've gotten 'better' because really, depression is a lifelong issue that will always cycle in and out, however, I'm feeling more up to the world, and I'm trying a lot harder to actually interact with it right now.
So parts of 2008 were really wonderful and delightful and fabulous and parts of it were so terrible just thinking about it makes me really sad. The following list is not resolutions, but are things I want to do, and the end of the year always makes for good introspection.
1. Do more things that bring me joy. I tend to...drift along into things in general anyways, and while I usually do have a good time, I would like to make sure that I am doing more things that I find joyful. What are some of these things? Man, that is a whole new list! To sum up: playing games with friends, making art, baking, hanging out with friends, getting out to see music, reading, playing games.
2. Be more organized. Getting there might be the opposite of #1, however, there is a bunch of stuff that I love doing that is really difficult to do when everything is such a disaster. Our kitchen is a hot mess, and boy, it sure makes doing complicated cooking and baking a giant bag of suck. I think we're going to need to call in some cavalry in a few places, but we need to get on it. We've also started using MS OneNote (oh listy goodness, how I love you), and I really like it.
3. Make our home more inviting and comfortable. First up: new sofa. While our old ones are...there, they are not only some of the ugliest sofas ever made, but also rapidly becoming unsupportive and uncomfy. I have a gift certificate to a furniture store that should make a new sofa purchase doable. We're also looking at more lamps and more furniture movements.
4. Actually take those classes. There are several classes I've been wanting to take. Primarily art glass and welding classes. There is a glass class starting on Jan 15 on glass fusing. AND if I end up liking it, the kiln that B&M have will totally work for glass as well, so I could continue doing it on my own.
5. Do more visiting and keeping in touch. I miss my far-flung friends, and I've been fucking terrible at visiting them and keeping in touch. But I love them and I miss them, and I think of them often.
6. Alternative transportation. Fancy way of saying 'ride my bike PLACES and for doing things'. We've been building up our riding, and I'm getting more and more comfortable being on it. As the weather improves, we're hoping to do things like ride to the farmers market, ride to our friends that live so close as to be really embarrassed about not riding there, ride to the museum, etc. I do need to get a new bike seat, some bike lights and a reflective vest. I think I also need some sort of basket/rack/pannier system so that I could carry said farmer's market purchases home. Although I have discovered that a can of beans fits perfectly in my drink holder.
7. Write this crap down more. My poor dear neglect LJ. I should, you know, write in it, or something. Just every so often. |
|
|
| to feed my addiction... |
[Nov. 12th, 2008|10:10 am] |
|
I know it would be just as easy to go to the library, get a card and just go every day to get books but...what I really want is for Durham to do something like dlc.clevnet.org so that I can read my utter trash in the comfort of my home. I don't WANT to have to put pants on. And I don't want to face the nice librarians with a pile of trash. |
|
|
| Troika Music Festival |
[Nov. 5th, 2008|04:22 pm] |
Local Troika Music Festival a three-day music event taking place November
6-8, 2008! In the past three years, more than 150 local and national bands
have played for Troika at various downtown-Durham locations. This year,
Troika's diverse lineup includes indie-folk singer-songwriter featured on
the Juno soundtrack Kimya Dawson, "clap-your-hands-and-sing-along" popsters
The Rosebuds, and edgy rockers Bellafea, and Old Ceremony. In addition to
these exciting headliners, Troika will showcase well-established local
artists Sorry About Dresden, Future Kings of Nowhere, Tooth, Red Collar,
Future Islands, Hammer No More the Fingers, Midtown Dickens, and many
others. Venues this year include the Carolina Theatre, Duke Coffeehouse,
Broad Street Café, and many more. The Troika Music Festival is your chance
to sample dozens of great artists in three days and pick your favorites! In
the meantime, please visit www.troikamusicfestival.org for festival news,
schedule, and details.
About the Troika Music Festival
The Troika Music Festival is a not-for-profit, grassroots live music event
designed to celebrate, support, and promote the thriving and nationally
recognized Triangle area music scene while showcasing and stimulating the
burgeoning artistic, commercial, and pedestrian activity in Durham. |
|
|
| Good bye, Eleanor |
[Oct. 21st, 2008|08:32 am] |
|
Last night, my mother-in-law and friend, Eleanor, passed away. |
|
|
| Going to LA! |
[Sep. 11th, 2008|02:55 pm] |
We are heading to LA today, will be there through Tuesday. Not sure how many people we will be able to hook up with, b/c there is all kinds of wedding goodness, but hopefully we'll see everyone's lovely faces! |
|
|
| Palin? Really? |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|05:59 pm] |
a quote that I think sums it up:
"I'm sure Hillary supporters are just dying to vote for an anti-choice woman who thinks Intelligent design should be taught in schools. McCain's mistake was in thinking that all women are stupid." |
|
|
| exercise and the triathalon of doom |
[Aug. 7th, 2008|02:33 pm] |
I just pushed my time on The Machine to 30mins today, and I did over a mile!
I know, it's probably one of the slowest running times in the history of time, ever, but you know what? I kind of welled up.
Time: 30mins
Dist*: 1113
*my machine has a really weird distance measure, but I'm pretty sure that 1000= 1 mile, and I'm just gonna roll with it.
Also, a woman in our area is arraigning a 'Slow Triathlon' for Oct 25, and I'm gonna do it. Distance wise, it's going to be a 'super sprint'. .25 miles in the pool, 6.2 mile bike ride and a 1.5 mile run.
So, I gotta get:
- a working bike (I have one almost there, that just needs some...sweet loving)
- a bike helmet (I really like my brains were they currently live)
- a real swimsuit (I'm looking at a nifty aquatard, which while kinda goofy, is also, you know, kinda nifty. And I really can't wear my heavy as sin skirted beach suit. I would likely sink like a rock.)
- a swim cap (I'm gonna so rock some esther williams flowers)
- prescription goggles (I found a website that does em for around $25. Totally worth it imo)
I think this is a far more reasonable goal than thinking I could run the 15k Boilermaker this year...hee. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
punkalicia's journal